sleepy

Im just feeling sleepy all the time..i'm sleepy as i write this, i'm sleepy the minute i wake up in the morning...right so who am i kidding, i mean afternoon, i 'm sleepy again later in the afternoon and i find every lame pathetic excuse to justify the nap that i crave coz quite simply after a point i just can't keep my eyes open. And when i wake up frm my snooze i'm still sleepy and what's worse, i get sleepy at night earlier than usual after allll that sleep!!
I know there are way too many 'sleepy' words in the above para...i'm getting sleepy reading it but then again im always sleepy anyways. I think its tms - too much sleep syndrome as my sis pointed out to me..it makes sense..when i barely get decent hours of sleep at night, when i'm running on overdrive mode, i'm perfectly fine, alert and awake. just grant me the luxury of so much as a nap and i'm all of a sudden transformed into rip van winkle the 2nd - i was tempted to say sleeeping beauty but instincts were against it.
Im sleepier than my mom on a rainy sunday afternoon ... more than my dog gets when you scratch him on the belly...i'm getting quite hopeless lah. it's either a normal part of the ageing process, or somethnig is damn wrong with me.. if only sleep was a sport...sigh, if only. I watched somethnig on tv yest, when an interviewee, who lost his wife on the bus that blew up during the London attacks said 'the 2 most powerful words in the eng language are 'if' and 'only'. How understatedly profound.
Anyways before i get sleepy and head right back to bed, where i came from just a little while ago, i'd better get back to my typing. And i cld have sworn i was writing about my condition as an incurable insomniac not too long ago...what the hell right!?! I always knew 'epiphobic' was the right name for me, in more ways than one can imagine.
Accoording to virginia woolf, sleep might be the 1st step to the pursuit of truth.. "Yet it is in our idleness, in our dreams, that the submerged truth sometimes comes to the top."..so maybe i'm on the right track after all. Yea whatever.
Till the next cycle-chain gap that i manage to stay awake for,this has been
'krapping with kumi' - thanks for tu(r)ning in.

my family and other animals

Reflections at 4am

My brother the pig and the dog make a fine couple..you should see them walking together, they look like shrek and donkey..except my dog,flee, is much much smaller than donkey and my brother is much bigger than shrek. so you can imagine.
My mom has decided that all the years and love *ahem* ..yea..love she invested into bringing us up hasn't exactly reaped the most inspiring rewards, or any reward fr the matter - according to her lah..and now she's made flee her adopted son. Such that any term of endearment is reserved exclusively fr the dog. And when she does happen to address one of us with any affection at all, we immediately think she's actually talking to flee.
Granny grinch and the dog don't quite get along..wch is interesting coz flee doesnt get along with children and other dogs , and basically anything that moves/runs & granny grinch is the most stationary thing in my household. But then again they say dogs see what other humans cant...i beleive it.
My sister has fallen asleep with the huge bio book on her belly, yet again. 3rd time this week...she was stressing about some project or test not too long ago, and next thing i realise she's lying here like a lizard with a locked jaw..clutching that book i've come to detest..coz everytime she takes it out,i know she's gonna usurp my place infront of the pc. and of coz i've got to give it up without a fight..
me the unemployed graduate, aka v.i.p - dont have to spell out the whole tamil equivalent- who does not deserve any such *luxury, or, one wld think, to even exist... let alone use the pc and obviously chatting on MSN is out of the question
and she, the studious undergrad who has every right to every *necessity and should be given priority since she is THE responsible studying member of the family. Don;t get me wrong now, our family is normal...quite the average family i should think..we all live quite amicably together...I'm just an incurable insomniac by night (explains this blog post) and spend most of the day sleeping..which mkes me a rather nocturnal but innocuous creature...my brother (better known fondly of coz, as the pig) and my dog, which tends to think its a cat and acts like one too, my sister the lizard look-a-like, my mom, mother to flee above all, and then the pig,lizard and me, in that order i'm inclined to believe...and granny grinch, an exotic and rare species..a far relation of the cat family i think; they have 9 lives, and well granny grinch seems to have been around for so long , it feels like she's gone beyond 9 lives in her one lifetime.. way too long if u ask me..
i could go on, but i shall end here, lest authorities start to think i belong to a zoo. This has been my reflection for the week..quite a revelation. I think im ready for bed now..the household should be starting to stir very soon...

* Often used interchangeably by the mom...wht's necessity to the sis is mysteriously luxury to me and vice versa.

His birthday.
Last year.
He waited under the block
wondering
waiting.
A life spent waiting
in anticipation
of simple indulgance
the wait has come to an end
has the want?
i hope so
all the love left unexpressed
all the words left unsaid
i hope it surrounds him now
like the jellyfish
damn.
do i want to remember
or to forget
memories.
it's all that's left
and yet why do i wish
we could just live without them.

Subu's Surprise!

We managed to successfully surprise yet another dear friend last week.twice in the same day.
It's such a wonderful feeling when near & dear ones are happy.. pooh deserves every minute of that tribute to her.
Happy B'day dear goondot.

baleh baleh baleh!!!

A typical saturday afternoon in the life of ms epiphobic goes like this : she wakes up and faces 3-5 toads depending on how many of them oversleep (ie : simply refuse to wake up and come for tuition). Then after counting down for exactly 2-3 hours, she finally gets to have lunch which consists of grapefruit,celery and carrot sticks. RITE. after that extremely light and healthy meal, one naturally is bound to feel rather sleepy. of course. so she walk-a-jogs from the dining table to the bed room - note : she would like to run for a longer distance, but but she finds that usually 5-6 skips/steps gets her there, afterwhich she does a long distance leap and lands straight on the bed.
After a much needed nap she wakes up refreshed and all set for yet another healthy minimalist meal.
But today was an unconventional sat afternoon.
unheard of in the history of epiphobic.
coz epiphobic is also too comfortable in her comfort zone, and does not like change.
Today, epi found herself boinging her way down to the YMCA, in the middle of a rainy afternoon, to attend a bhangra-aerobics class.yup, you read that right.
bhangra plus aerobics. both of which do not feature in epi's book of things to do on any regular day, let alone a sat afternoon.
mind you, we were forewarned. the sign read : it's idiot proof for ppl who don't have 2 left feet, and who have a sense of rythm. which is why epi should have about-turned and waddled home.
but thanks to yogajunkie and poohbear, she didn't.

we were a motley, i mean ahem, an enthusiastic 3some doing with alacrity and spirit, our own versions of bhangra and aerobics. Yogajunkie, thanks to all her wild bhangra night sessions and dancing em nights away, looked pretty good and had the right moves...at the end of it, she was as pink as her pink op t-shirt, radiant and beaming frm ear to ear - possibly still elated that she had finally succeeded in convincing epi to crawl out of her comfort rut (read : make a blithering piddlesqueak of herself) ..pooh was no bhangra-wallah but she looked funky enough lah,pretty groovy and next to epi, who convulsed more than she danced and moved right when everyone moved left, pooh looked quite good. pooh & yagajunkie looked so good infact, that epi looked at them in the mirror rather than at herself.epi, in short, looked like she was dancing an exotic fusion of bharatanatyam,bhangra and breakdance. or so she would like to think. someone watching her though, might be quite convinced she was having an epileptic attack right in the middle of the dance floor.
in retrpospect, this has been pretty much a groundbreaking (er...no pun intended) start. At the end of the sessions, epi hopes to be :
a) a qualified star bhangra babe
b) visibly slimmer
c) not secretly plotting to murder pooh and yogajunkie
perhaps she will discover she doesn't have 2 left feet afterall.if nothing else, for once in her life, at least she would have tried something diffferent..she would have actually gotten out of her comfrt zone and done something she would never have dreamt off. she would have for the 1st time felt like she was merely paying lip service whenever she said 'carpe diem' to someone else.
and i guess we've only got pooh and yogajunkie to blame for that :p

who knows...perhaps in the uncertain future...she might actually realize her longtime dream of being able to write a funny and lighthearted blogpost.coz today she has learnt, anything is possible, and there's always a 1st.
see yal next week my dear bangrrraa-wallehs!!

Too busy

Been trying to post...ok that's stretching the truth, guess i haven't really been trying..not much action beyond the want to write..haven't felt like it lah.And since i've resolved to only write when i feel like writing, i haven't even tried to type anything in here..fr..er...too long now.
Still no mood or inspiration..so i'm just gonna paste this.
Courtesy of Aunty C. Thanks for this..in today's fast paced,too-busy world,we can't have too many of these reminders.

Too Busy
One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of theother students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates andwrite it down. It took the remainder of the class period tofinish their assignment, and as the students left the room, eachone handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each studenton a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else hadsaid about that individual. On Monday she gave each student hisor her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling."Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meantanything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me somuch," were most of the comments. No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She neverknew if they discussed them after class or with their parents,but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose.The students were happy with themselves and one another. Thatgroup of students moved on.

Several years later, one of thestudents was killed in Viet Nam and his teacher attended thefuneral of that special student. She had never seen a servicemanin a military coffin before He looked so handsome, so mature. The ceremony was packed with his friends. One by one those wholoved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was thelast one to bless the coffin. As she stood there, one of thesoldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. "Were youMark's math teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "yes." Then he said:"Mark talked about you a lot." After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates wenttogether to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there,obviously waiting to speak with his teacher. "We want to showyou something," his father said, taking a wallet out of hispocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thoughtyou might recognize it." Opening the billfold, he carefullyremoved two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviouslybeen taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knewwithout looking that the papers were the ones on which she hadlisted all the good things each of Mark's classmates had saidabout him. Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As youcan see, Mark treasured it."

All of Mark's former classmatesstarted to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly andsaid, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my deskat home." Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in ourwedding album." "I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in mydiary." Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into herpocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzledlist to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vickisaid and without batting an eyelash, she continued: "I think weall saved our lists." That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She criedfor Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forgetthat life will end one day. And we don't know when that one daywill be. So please, tell the people you love and care for, thatthey are special and important. Tell them, before it is toolate.

"Nothing in life is bigger than life itself"