Nice shot

I shld mention tht all credit goes to cameraman CK for this shot..Loved the sky that day...

Strength to carry on

Song of the moment : Shine a light ( OST : Ladder 49)

The cry of the city like a siren's song
Wailing over the rooftops the whole night long
Saw a shooting star like a diamond in the sky
Must be someone's soul passing by
These are the streets Where we used to run where your Papa's from
These are the days Where you become what you become
These are the streets Where the story's told
The truth unfolds
Darkness settles in

Shine your light down on me
Lift me up so i can see
Shine your light when you're gone
Give me the strengthTo carry on.... carry on

Don't wanna be a hero Just an everyday man
Trying to do the job the very best he can
But now it's like living on borrowed time Out on the rim, over the line
Always tempting fate like a game of chance
Never wanna stick around to the very last dance
Sometimes i stumble and take a hard fall
Loose hold of your grip off the wall

Shine your light down on me
Lift me up so i can see
Shine your light when you're gone
Give me the strength to carry on...Carry on

I thought i saw him walking by the side of the road
Maybe trying to find his way home
He's here but not here
He's gone but not gone
Just hope he knows if I get lost
Shine your light down on me
Lift me up so i can see
Shine your light when you're gone
Give me the strength to carry on
To carry on

Kapish

I am not a punching bag.period.
i may be a 3rd wheel sometimes..i can live with that to a certain extent.
but i sure as the sky above am not a punching bag.
or the backup plan who's on perpetual standby.
i may not know what i am but i sure know what i am not.or what i refuse to be(come).

The 3rd wheel

Im just done reading this book 'born confused' , about a young ABCD (american born confused desi) who's too indian to be american and too american to be indian. tough huh. the book ends with her finding comfort and stability in being what she knows best, just herself.and not worrying where to categorize her identity. anyway, there's this particularly nice line in this book whereby her best friend asks her, "who needs a 3rd wheel?"...and to that she replies without hesitating, "a tricycle". That gave me a nice warm feeling..there's something so incredibly soothing about a sense of belonging.like the feeling u get when u've completed that puzzle and everything just fits.
It's not nice being a 3rd wheel..particularly if u know ur still attached to a bicycle which is never gonna be a tricyle...or maybe it used to be a tricycle and now it has to become a bicycle..and that's just the way it should be.
So waht's the 3rd wheel to do...when all that is so near, seems so far away..
perhaps the 3rd wheel has to realise that it's a wheel in its own right, one wheel...perhaps the 3rd wheel isnt the 3rd wheel afterall, but the 1st wheel (only wheel?) in a unicycle or the other wheel in a bicycle.
Whichever the vehicle, whichever the route, the wheel has just one role...it's got to roll.
:s
riiiiite .............
and that sounded so lame and reduced the entire effect of this post that was meant to be serious and pensive. but these things happen, and as i type this now, amused as to how one word changed the entire mood of the writing, and even my own mood, i realise its important to take a break from taking life so seriously, taking ourselves so seriously, all the time.
Applies to humans and yes, wheels included.

'Aria' by secret garden's 'dawn of a new century' plays in the background for the umpteenth time. *basks in it*

Was gonna end off with 'roll on' but that just reminds me of deodrant. So i shall leave this,at that.

Crossroads

And so it goes that In order to know where to go from here, it is important to know where you've come from.Or so they say. and i'm not just quoting will smith in 'Hitch' here.
so i do know where i've come from. In fact i've traced my path along the 'i've come from there' map 3 times over and it's still not shedding any light on where my path would lead from here..not even which path i should i take. Not even a clue as to whether there IS a path out there for me. well i guess there is one for everyone...right?but it's hard to get oneself on it, and more importantly the right one that leads to the place u wanna go.
I wonder what's more important as a starting point...the path..or the destination.
What if u had a destination...and no path..then u'd still be focused on the end point and u;d make your own path to get there right?
Or perhaps if u jst followed some path, any path,u might reach that destination and discover it was always meant to be urs to stumble upon or arrive at quite deliberately, whichever occurs 1st.
i guess whichever way the journey unfolds...the most important thing must be to take the 1st step forward.one cant keep getting lost...er...ok well i could but i'm sure even i can't keep getting lost forever and ever...ive got to find some way in the end.
i've got a magnet on my fridge that goes 'he that chooses his own path needs no map'...always wondered about that one...if it really does hold true. in a sense maybe..but in a sense,not quite.Debatable.
So what next?
I don't know...and i sure as hell wanna find out.
Show me the path and i'll begin my journey....
or maybe i should just begin my journey and in that way, create my own path, and make my way towards the destination, one baby step at a time.
Every road at the end of the day, has to lead somewhere.

tele-phony

ok yes i've been mia...and today i'm writing this only coz yoga the junkie has been bugging me to, and i'm placing some faith in writing-therapy , seeing that retail therapy is out of the question given the financial status - what the hell- i mean pathetic state, i am in.....
i'm in a foul mood, but i've got valid reasons....for one, i rarely get to go online anymore and that's disruptive to my routine and system...in the past month or so i've managed to lose a LOT of money and some rather valuable (both sentimental and monetary value) jewellery..i'm shamelessly indebted to various members of my family, even those younger than me..AND NOW, latest feat, ive lost my hp.and i'm broke (as mentioned above) so i can't get a new phone anytime soon..so im depressed (given the latest trend in my life of losing my valuables) and more disgruntled with life than ever. I still remember the times i refused to own a mobile phone, and when i did get one, i promised myself i'd never get too dependant on it or come to a stage when i'd be lost without it...i even managed to survive the past few yrs without having my ring tone on...i got away with silent/vibration mode for the most part except when infuriated friends came close to attempted cold blooded murder (only coz they can;t bear the fact that im uncontactable of course...yea i know...im indispensable)...i even manage to go out with the family and leave the hp behind (but thts partly coz the family dsnt appreciate the hp coming along either) and i'm detached enuff frm the phone to actually be away frm it alot..so much so tht i may check my phone eventually and see LOTS of missed calls. *my friends would have a whole to say about this one,nthnig cld be better evidence*...i'm even a firm beleiver that whether or not i answer my hp is my right, and if i choose not to ans, it simply means im not with the phone, or i cant answer at that point..ie just coz i have it dsnt mean i gotta be glued to it, or that i'm under oath to answer it all the time.
i even said this to a friend yesterday.a friend who was mad tht i'd missed her calls. i dont think she was too amused or enthusiastic about my logic.
maybe my point of view is just skewed and the logic is flawed, or perhaps there's no logic at all..but whats the point of this entire soliloquay..especially there's no phone at this point.

bottom line is, despite all the fluffy ideals and big talk, im not as detached frm the hp as i think i am or id like to be. i do feel lost,anxious and highly annoyed without it now...mostly coz of boredom i must admit..not being able to just pick up n chat or send a 'what ya up to' sms to someone some uneventful neverending afternoon.and im certainly not detached enuff to let go of all those sms-es ive saved, coz each of them meant something or reminded me of some point in time that i wanted to freeze-frame.

well...such is life. still it goes on.till next time, this has been me talking to me.to the happy person who found my phone,i cld say alot of things so i shall not say any of it,cant trust myself right now.
some announcements and personal messages :
wishing the pancake a v.happy b'day!and to agentmouldy,good luck fr yr papers dudette,study hard and take care,will catch up with u soon.yogajunk and bs best wishes fr a v.special day
hope its meaningful, and have fun.yogaj my apologies about the thingi u wanted me to pass to u (u know waht im talking abt) ,its been in layman's terms, pretty damn impossible.but the minute i manage to get it,u'll be the 1st recipient.so sorry dude.hope u've made..erm...creative and brilliant alternative arrangements.CK: hope ur having a fab time in prague,im sure its all memorable if nothing else...perhaps thts all tht matters at the end of the day..as long as its worth the memory!

adieu fr now.

blackwhite

blackwhite
Originally uploaded by epiphobic.

i did it!!! am i fast learner or what! :p

*pleased with self*

trial & error

just trying this photo posting thing coz im bored with my blog...maybe its time fr some graphics to give it a face lift - pun unintended.
ive no idea how this tag thingi works, and i tried the link thingi with the orange qstn mark, and that's not working out either. ok so i've successfully signed up with flickr and hopefully one day, will learn how to publish pics on my blog...soon, soon...for now, im gonna resort to posting links.

hope this works...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/98485452@N00/18212683/ (with the mouldyone..showing off my *ahem* photo effects editing skills *ahem* ..hey i managed to make it black& white..well I think its pretty cool!)


and this is courtesy of a friend, found it on her website - i think this is beautiful - thanks for sharing :
http://www.flickr.com/photos/33231079@N00/16247385/


thats it fr now...will post some proper pictures when i learn how to actually upload them and not just paste links !

blogger's block

Yep. that's exactly what i'm suffering from. i've been sitting here trying to get down and dirty (ok not exactly but we know what i mean) and write abt stuff...lots of stuff that's been going on..inside and around me. but i just cant...the words are not flowing while the thoughts are gushing through uncontrollable and breaking through all boundaries. its crazy. there's just so much, good stuff and the not so good...and loads of memories and random thoughts..and i cant deal with it all...not in my head, definitely not in writing.
on the mundane font,
just came back frm the movies, watched a crappy so-called horror (more like horrible) movie starring christina ricci..called cursed. and the caption goes soemthing like its a curse...bla bla..and its called life. can u blame us fr thinking 'how bad can it be' - it was about a bimbotic werewolf (yes,female) gone crazy with jealousy coz the male werewolf was attracting other women (normal non werewolf women)..so she kills them. half way thru the film the audience gave up trying to be spooked and came to terms with the fact tht they might actually be in fr a comedy more than a horror flick and started to chuckle here and there (during the werewolf scenes mind u, so u go figure). it was SAD. msgee and us decided never to venture out and watch horror filsm together again coz we just dont have any luck with tht genre.
ok so much for that.
im still bored adn listless and oh yes, important point to note,very very broke.not tht any of tht's gonna change overnight.let life unleash the big plan and throw at me everything it has to offer...and boy will i catch. go on life, surprise me.
*yawns*

stuck in a moment

Gosh
its been a while...feels strange. where do i even start?
I never even got to grips with the boho pardee and already practically a month has flown by, bringing with it the rollercoaster ride of the uk trip.the much thought about,talked about,controversial uk visit ...before, during and after the actual trip...which was ultimately fr my best friend's engagement which felt more like a wedding. there was a whole lot more to it all of course...so much infact, that i either say everything, or nothing at all.
basically the good, the bad and the all-encompassing memorable.
its all still so dreamy and surreal. Still stuck in the moment.
so where do i begin?
well i believe i have.
this is all i can manage for now.need to be a little more emotionally detached before i can go into more details. for n0w, its good to be back,well almost.
it'll take a while i guess...