2 way street

Its funny and yet far from funny how lonely you can feel when surrounded - engulfed even- by practically half a nation...and yet there are days when you are all alone, and your just sitting there spending time basking in your own thoughts, and the pleasure of your company and you feel fulfilled..its amazing how much of difference there is between being alone and feeling lonely..difference to an extent its really not so subtle anymore.
The question remains if we're essentially social creatures or not...why did the whole 'no man is an island' notion come about..perhaps thts waht we are meant to be..and yet most of us spend our lives trying to forget that and run away from it by hiding ourselves amongst masses of people and burrying ourselves within heaps of momentary, transient and often petty issues,feelings etc...not only our own but those of others as well..
it wld be easier if we were all individual islands dont u think...we wld be detached and unaffected by one another...and dehumanized - which seems to defeat the underlying point of human existance (which i think is to do all in our power to not just exist) - but it might just make it all easier.
There might as well be a manual..some kinda idiot proof guide book...telling us when to ignore our instincts...whn to follow them...when to know waht to do and when to not do it..how far to go..most important that.
Its not nice doing something when youre wondering the entire time if u shld do it, if u want to do it, why your doing it in the 1st place and if youre doing it fr the right reasons...
nope..its really not nice.
it cancels out the intention behind the deed, no matter how genuine or well-meaning it may be.
it cancels out how much effort or affection or happiness went into something...and shakes the sheer foundation of one's faith in the meaning of bonds and soulful relationships..
is it worth it when you do something u wanna do...initially ur convinced u want to do it..and then u start to wonder if u should do it...later, wonder if u stilll want to do it and at the end of it all, after a short period of wondering if u shld have done it, you are back to a state of conviction...more convinced than ever that you shld not have done it.
Life really is a circle..do i sense the principle of oracular reasoning somewhere in this??
Ive always had spinal problems..but recent events have been a great confirmation that its a major problem indeed ... the lack of one.
I think i have my principles,beliefs,desires,dislikes...and then i hear another perspective and i'm inclined to lean towards that - just slightly perhaps, but yet it alters my take on something i was sure abt just a conversation ago...and then yet another fresh even contradicting perspective comes my way and voila! Im confused, and completely thrown of balance. So much for having my own mind and spine..I'm the most extremely opiniated person i know, who dsn't have an opinon..certainly not one that wouldnt keep changing like the education system of the meritocratic democractic province..ahem i mean island im part of.
Forget the abstract stuff..the rhetorical stuff tht has no answers like the point of life and humanity etc...waht about the simple things like being happy, making someone happy...what if they clash..like wanting to make someone happy even if it means the means to that end might make them unhappy...how do u know that perhaps the end product might be so overwhelming (i hate this word) - in a postive sense of the word - that it might undermine the unhappiness surrounding the strategy..we cant know can we..to me at least, its about taking a stab in the dark..its about saying to yourself at the end of the day, 'well i tried.' Its about living in the moment, and not even taking tht moment fr granted...coz the very next moment, may cease to be yours..but wait..we are the transient ones..time remains...how easy it is to forget this simple fact..with that in mind, endeavour to live in every moment, coz who knows, beyond that moment, we may not be.
Sure its morose and all..but its the fact of the matter and the truth hurts...i guess thts why its tht much easier to forget, and to take everything fr granted, including ourselves.
Why do such dreadful words begin with 'D'
Dissillusionment..disappointment..dysfunctional..denial..doubt/dubious..Dengue-fever....hmm..
Im sure there are as many or maybe even more D words that are irrefutably(does such a word even exist..see this is precisely why i shld have done some lexicology module somewhere in my illustrious linguistic career) definitely positively inclined.
Detachment..fascinating word...probably the most neutral, ambiguous word i know...apart from destiny i think.
Soltitude is not a physical state..its a mental,emotional and psychological state..(in lingustics there's material, mental,behavioural etc...it never ceases to amaze me how things being to make sense in retrospect) you dont have to do anything to estrange yourself from others (indeed its possible to even estrange urself frm ur own self)...i cant begin to fathom why ppl seek isolation, and practice it as a physical thing, when soltitude is within.
If we are made up of a body,soul/spirit..how can we ever reallyy be alone when we are with ourselves... i do admire ppl who can enjoy their own company and who do not perpetually need others...those who are emotionally self-reliant.. but i really dont know if its something to attain...like a state of moksha/nirvana and its equivalents...its a matter of perspective isnt it..its abt where ur coming frm, where ur lookin from...
I dont know if i'll be able to understand....fully, partially..or anything at all..if ever
i dont know if i should
i dont know if i want to.
At the end of the day we're all different...essentially similar and yet in sooo many ways fundamentally different..its interesting, and challenging to celebrate the differences just as we would the similarities. Afterall we are made to be different..we have every right to be..there's no standard 'shld be'/ 'shldnt be'.
Hah..how simple it all is in theory.
I guess i need to accept 1st tht there isnt a manual...there isnt a guide...except divine interventions and instincts which one shldnt ignore too often..I need to constantly negotiate between 'the other'and 'the self' to strike tht balance...and hopefully emerge relatively certain about the inclinations of 'the self'....we can be inclined towrds others...towrds reaching out...but i tihnk its mandatory to stabilise the self, the I/me, the 'what i stand for' before we seek/strive to reach out...back to the within/without quote..one of my mantras.
Its probably the fundamental principle behind the aircraft safety thingi, where ur advised to secure your oxygen mask and life jacket before helping others. Thats not fundamentally selfish..hardly. a drowning person cannot save anyone...its not about being self sacrificial..its about being sensible...nope, thats not selfish at all...not the way i see it anyway. Do i sense myself going towards the lane of subjective perceptions...riiiight...... *takes a u turn*
Maybe it wld serve me well if i sorted some stuff out witihn, before meddling with the free spirits adn individuals whom im connected to/with..whom may not be connected to me...and spend my life wondering if we really are as connected as i think we are...
life and its ironies...some of us are perpetually running away from things, from loneliness, from uncertainty, from ourselves...while some of us are constantly running towards these very same things...
I'm pretty stable i think..coz if nothing else, im certain of one thing, the way i feel - i'm going against traffic.
Then again, its never always a continuous stretch...how long can the highway last...soon we're bound to reach a two way street...a junction, a U turn, a traffic light. Something.

I should go..have a test on in a few minutes...and none of this is going to matter in ... months,yrs to come.
Shld let it go.
And yes, a very wise person , whom i can't thank enuff for being a constant, timely sense of solace from across the miles, perhaps without even knowing how much it has mattered/helped at tht point , has said - among lots of reassuring and thought inspiring things, that there's only one way to go - forward.
So let's go forth with alacrity..
we dont have thaaaaat much time to look back..let alone be stuck in the dark and backward abysm of time. Sometimes all it may take to come out into the light, is a single step.
As simple as that...If only we knew that and remembered it.
Oh well....Something's gotta give....
Life is to be lived...live it.Love it.Celebrate it.Cherish it.
Sheeesh i sound like a shah rukh wanna be...might as well go all the way now and do the whole works.....
kal ho na ho.

* start music !

Nostalgia : A dedication

This one's fr yogajunky -
I just read Yoga's blog adn i'm not sure if my nostalgic mood rubbed off on her, hence inspiring that posting...or if her posting has rubbed off on me and made me nostalgic all over again!In anycase, we're inspiring each other in some kinda mutual, interconnected causal way!
I just wanna go on record & say 2 things.. firstly..
That was a truly beautiful blog yoga!!It was very heartwarming and it really made me reflect on the things tht matter...and how much ive taken fr granted...it was simple, sincere and a lovely read.
And 2ndly...
Of coz i dindt forget you lah u twit!!Gasp!how cld u even think that *clutches heart in pain with a melodramatic offended expression*...grin...id hav thot that by now,these things are understood and hence understated u goondot!
My memories of NUS will never be complete without the happening times spent with yogaj..there are just too many special moments and memories - and u know how it is when u either list all or none....I mean where does one even begin!?
As my saviour in sch, rite frm the early days when i cldnt even find my own faculty and cldnt decide what to wear on fridays..and then when it came to horrible elang stuff that i just cldnt understand (and still dont - think phonology and syntax) - & in just so many ways right up to date that if i cld round my entire uni life into one word, it might just start with a 'B'!
U know yoga, all tht stuff u wrote abt, really brought a smile to my face just remembering all of those times..i mean loookin back 10 yrs frm now, i'm sure its these little things that i'm always gona remember and smile abt (and laugh about, like how u fell on the stairs while tryin to race..and that oreo song u and shalu made up..and gosh the list goes on!)

ps : even my title reminds me of that awful movie we watched in lit class, where u dont know if the anything really happens or if the guy's dreaming it all in his own head!BIZARRE movie man and i remember that sound of dripping water thru out the movie was just UNBEARABLE..sheesh enuff on nostalgia.

Sigh....i wish we cld meet as often as we used to...the emptiness is pretty sick after all those times..and it all comes back sometimes, thus highlighting how different thnigs are now...i miss it all too..but well its not too late..there's still time before we graduate..Do all that stuff uve always wanted to do, and not look back in regret...well i guess there will be, but in the larger scheme of things, there shldnt be a gaping hole where things tht really matter ought to be...we may not get to join the ridge and write (arrggh!so much fr not havin regrets) but oh well...there's always the other things, which we still can and shld do!!!Seriously....its never too late to make new friends, get to know the classic & colourful characters among our happening EL lot..(do the things i'm not sure i'll ever get to do now...its funny how things hit u in retrospect)...have lunch with someone new, ...go sit by that bench under that beautiful pathway of trees some evening..reflect & soak in the atmosphere..the breeze, the tranquility..and we'll take walks in campus under the changing sky at twilight & we'll def stay over in the forum before we leave, just fr old times sake..and of coz this includes wee hour walks to fong seng fr yummy stuffed prata concoctions!!we must ok!!!Must promise ourselves and make it a point to do it!Let this sickening term paper-deadline-ISM crappy period be over...we'll do it all...and we'll live it up and make the most of our last semester... and we'll make it truly special and that much more memorable - ending it all with a bang as they call it!Fr now, do ur ISM!! Pour ur soul, spirit & sincere effort into it...I'm sure you'll do great.

SO there u go - an entire post in thy honour...hehe...well after tht inspiring blog, u asked fr it dude!! hehe...Here's to u yogajunkie & cheers to making new memories and always cherishing the old ones!Cheers to making every day count, in some way or other...and thanks fr making my uni life worth reminiscing,writing and smiling about!

" Between the conception And the creation
Between the emotion And the response
Falls the Shadow
Life is very long
Between the desire And the spasm
Between the potency And the existence
Between the essence And the descent
Falls the Shadow "

- T.S.Eliot : 'The Hollow Men'

Nonchalant

There's something very comforting and reassuring about meeting up with old friends..ppl who have shared your past and remembers the stuff that you've left out..sitting around and reminiscing about 'the good old days'.. remembering funny incidents that have the least significance at least a decade down the road..and yet laughing all over again over classic follies and blunders which you think noone's gonna remember, but actually noone's managed to forget!Been great catchinh up with jazz...im so glad we're back in touch despite the yrs events adn distances between then and now.
Mould has gone back...started missing her even before we got to the airport..felt weird and so familiar it was uncanny..i hate the empty feelign u get at the departure gate man!Felt sad thru out but im real glad i went to see her off...Had a nice v-day with her though it wasnt much time..finally got that much awaited manicure done!Miss de mould..and mould if ur reading this : hope u had a fab time in perth!Email me soon!!
I've been trying to post somethnig fr ages now...but i just manage to save half written drafts...ive so much to say but its just stuck somewhere btwn my throat and my lips..in this case extend the metaphor to apply to typing it all out!Havin a bad case of writer's block...no idea why..and yet i feel there's so much i wanna let out of the system.
I shall whine abt the weather...my favourite activity recently..but can u blame me when the weather is SO HOT AND SICK..and the air stinks all the time,the grass is no longer green but yellow and parched looking...there have been so many bush fires - can u imagine that, bushfires!in spore!Kaliyug indeed!it was in the papers tht its been the hottest summer in 29 years so go figure!
Ok now tht im done with thaaaaat...i shall whine abt the dust and debris and loose wires all over my house coz my mom had a brain wave,combined with depression and some bizarre inspiration to "live life to the max" and decided to renovate our house - which we renovated adn moved into only 3 yrs back!Its madness - we've been nomads the past few nights, sleeping in dffernt rooms,no lights,no fans no anything!And we had to choose the hottest period of the millenium to do this!!Grr!
Im havin a so called term break...which lasts till thurs and i have a test on fri - so its gonna be some term break..bleagh..
Excuse the mood...well, so even if u dont - tuff. its MY mood. u try hving to find EVERYTHING under piles of rubble and tiles and wires, all the time!And havin to bear with a power cut every 2 minutes!And let's see if ur still chirpy and likely nominee of the ms/mr congeniality award!!
Lkin frward to meeting up with pooh to discuss her assignment on South Asian feminism and the prejudice and cruel treatment towards widows,single mothers etc..gonna watch a few of my fav woman-power kinda movies...and analyse..and also get my work done!!!got deadlines comin up reaaal soon and tht test!! *trying to mke myself panic!*
Also gotta catch up with ribena soooooon...ribena if ur reading this, hint hint!! Miss ya dude and hope to seeya soon...hope we can do something on sunday.. well lets see how - wil talk to ya real soon k!
Been in a bitter sweet mood all week...drama fest made things much better...it was sooo nice being back..cant describe it...i just got a really good feeling... seeing ppl ive not seen in ages...and it felt good to be part of something tht brings so many diferent ppl from differnt generations tog..wish mould and pancake were there tho...it was quite a big reunion this yr, was special....its put me in a nostalgic mood..(actually, happens quite often with me.. even normally) but been thinking alot abt the ppl in my life..and abt blessings and what makes me happy...
I guess its important to stop every so often...and stop whining abt the weather...and to just count your blessings...
Nvm if theyre not the same ones as the yr before or even the week before..nvm if the nos dwindle...they're still blessings and atl east there are still blessings to count and be thankful fr.
There are so many ppl i'm thankful to know...both old friends and new...Its nice meeting and maknig new friends...its beautiful watching/experiencing the evolution of a friendship..when it grows from just an acquaintance to something so much deeper, into a special bond between ppl who've grown to become friends... and there's a gd example of a kind of change i'm not allergic to.
So i dont know what ive spoken abt all this time or why ive said all this...probably to avoid getting down to what id like to think/write abt...
Soon soon....can't run and hide from ourself forever now can we?

BLACK

Just 2 words to begin this with : WATCH BLACK.
To quote amitabh in his inimitable way, 'life is like ice cream..enjoy it before it melts'.
He's at his finest to date i think, in this movie which is larger than life and all encompassing in its portrayal of the emptiness,darkness and silence in the world of the deafblind. It's inspired and somewhat based on the true life story of Helen Keller, a deafblind mute - trapped in her own world, stifled and suffocated,blinded by black and muted and deafened by the silence.. A challenge of a role which Rani Mukherji blossoms and glows in..her talent and true capacity unveiled....and Anne Sullivan, her miracle teacher who brings her into the light - a role performed to perfection by Amitabh, a protrayal enriched by his own magical touch - filled with passion,grit,guts&determination,eccentricity and dignity. Poignant,powerful,Rich,Beautiful - the epitome of black. I think this movie has taken Indian Cinema to greater heights, and it has set new standards.
If u haven't already read the book, ('The story of my life') written by Helen keller herself, this movie will inspire you to..and you'll have no regrets..its an aewsome book, and the movie has done it more than just justice. The movie makes u laugh,smile and cry...and at the end it leaves u sitting there, a lump in ur throat,ache in your chest, tears in your eyes and smile on your face.

As you might have guessed, i luved the movie..it was an experience and has shed light on helen keller's famous quote :
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched ... they must be felt with the heart"
How true. How much we take for granted in our lives...to the extent that we don't even realise that the fact that we HAVE all this , is in itself a blessing. And then somethnig like this comes along, and you remember for a day..a week..a month at most??But it also reminds you to beleive in miracles..in the simplest things, coz each one in its own right, is a miracle.And sometimes all it takes to bring about a miracle, is a small change...a person, an event, a word, a touch..
"Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into the light" - Helen Keller.

There's a beautiful line in the movie, when rani mukherji is asked by someone, how many oceans are there in the world, and for that she replies ' to me, every drop is an ocean'. profound.Echoes Helen Keller's words :
"I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble. "

There' s so much to this movie..as many different angles and aspects as you can see, hidden depths as far as you can reach..wonders as much as you can discover...a kaleidoscope of ideas, emotions, issues - intriguing, the complexities of the human mind and condition. I wasnt intending to make this entire posting about the movie but alas - i told you this movie was larger than life :)
Call me biased, but i was drawn in the minute i knew that amitabh's inspiration was my fav lines frm Robert Frost's 'Miles to go before i sleep'...Goes to show that Great minds are inspired by the same things eh! :p

I was gonna write about my sunny sun burnt day, which i spent at the sports spectra, being an extra..had loads of fun though..I;m glad i finally went for it although its taken me 4 yrs and this is my final year..but it was worth it and i'm glad i had this experience for all this time in uni. Also had a wonderful time at mouldy's lunch..glorious food,masala tea, and watching kal ho na ho with the special ppl in my life, who matter so much and make all the difference to it..doing the most ordinary things, & just being comfortable being with each other...always gives me a great feeling.And of coz black was the perfect finale to an eventful day. Just wish i wasn't sunburnt,red,sore and splotchy-faced!! :(

I had alot more to say..but i think i shall save it fr another time...and leave you for now with some quotable parting shots, from - who else but Ms Keller..chew on these!

"Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourself a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles."

Some of my personal favourites -
"College isn't the place to go for ideas"
"The highest result of education is tolerance"

Cheerio fr now!
:)

Ashes of Roses

Lvs came over to NUS today for her experiments...it was nice walking around with her,buying the cookies and stuff..it felt like any old regular day doing just another regular thing like buying junkfood at the coop and fries at the gecko...it felt so..normal..yet knowing that its far from normal...now that's weird.but i try not to think too much about these things..dsnt help does it.. :)
Later at her place the experiement with jals was HILARIOUS..i just cldnt help but LOL soo many times and practically ruined the experiement-recording!!!But the guy is just classic..his expressions and the blank looks and lvy's tamil..just too much to take in at one go!!I had a whale of a time..i finally left the room coz i just cldnt stop laughing...was good catching up with jals after so long... we were all talking about how far we've come from the 'pre-pubescent' days as jals called it..and its true..we have all evolved..changed...grown... metamorphosized if u like, to different extents, but still we've come a long way from those uncertain days of raging hormones and confusion and when crises meant having a common test on a sat morning...Now we're talking about careers,marriage..ahem ahem...well some of us are anyway *wink* and settling down,family etc..it felt so nice to watch these 2 goondots sound so settled..a part of me felt it was funny but another part felt reassured and..i don't know..can't get the right words...its all soo grown up and yet i cld have sworn we were in sec 2 not long ago.
Just thought of the times lvs and i took walks to the temple near our houses...even if it was to just sit there for 10 mins..coz it gave us some sense of peace and hope - and more so coz we had an important test the next morning! :p
funny how it's the littlest most ordinary things u miss most..
Like that cold windy thurs morning...when the leaves were flying all around...tossed abt by the unusually strong wind...and i was walking down to meet the mould for the last walk before she flew to tas for the 1st time...i remember it like i know i always will.
Like the walks back home with the pancake from kovan...like the walks in the huge sec sch field, walking and laughing all the way to the air rifle range...oh and the time we pushed her into the swimming pool..she's one person who took such total crap and she was such a sport about it...(miss the nit..Really hope to meet her and the mould tog sooooon...)
Like sitting by the beach with s(f) watching the sunset...
Like sharing cut fruits with yoga.J and later sitting in the forum in some painful,uncomfortable yoga postion, balancing on the balls of our feet since some ppl insisted it aided digestion and yet, i felt sleepy through out the class!!!
Like the walks in the rain with ribena..spending time together,sharing and caring and simply being there for each other, and of course for time to come as well...and all that tea i'm now addicted,i have her to thank for that!!
The out-of-the-blue meetups with mylightfactory in gardens...talking about 'being in our elements'...sharing our experiences and thoughts on the importance of therapeutic 'pamper urself' treatments...and analyzing the purpose of our life..and the 'bigger things' in life.
My grandma's toothless grin...her saying the pledge on national day..
my grandpa coming back from work with 'fruit of the day' and cutting me a piece every night...
Butterfly kisses...the baby smell...the curtains..the books.... and the familiar 'old spirce' cologne...
I can't go on....
Different people...different memories....so many memories it just brings a lump to my throat and a dull ache in my chest...its beginning to hurt.
Well...
Its the little things at the end of the day.
The old memories will always be there.....im making new ones, with both old friends and new...I'm glad i am...new memories...new friends...new bonds..each one unique,special and very very dear to me...all to be cherished memories...in the circle of life. it never ends does it... sheesh i wonder how elton john felt after singing 'the circle of life'...hopefully not like i feel right now..i feel profound in my lameness - or perhaps lame in my profoundness? hehe... :p

These past 2 days..i just feel like dancing...really..i hardly ever feel like that...infact im convinced im one of those ppl who just cannot move and cant lift herself off her feet..i know im rather grounded as a person... but in my case, its gone to uncanny extremes...im just rooted to the ground...most of the time that is..sometimes i surprise myself and feel like running on a windy night...or when i'm feeling unusually light and dizzy and floaty- which i assure you is a VERY RARE phenomenon...and most recently on prom night, which was eons ago,so go figure...and after allll this time...i suddenly feel like dancing..just moving...not being/feeling conscious..but moving to the beat,rythm,music ...of just my heart even...arghh waht the hell am i saying?! dont nkow where that came frm it just sounded soooo...arggh.....hhhhelllllllllllpppppp somethings happening to me!!
Its probably the movie...probably has smehting to do with the way j-lo kept twirling around, her skirt swishing soooo gracefully around her...her legs...her neck...her rythmic moves...so womanly and graceful.....and yet powerful and confident..
It all started after i watched 'shall we dance' with jazz the other night..had a real nice time..shes a lovely person, right down to the warm smile and i just love the way she laughs..its infectious,really..hope she clears some clouds in her thoughts tho..i'm sure things will be ok, sometimes the hardest thing is to not to do anything, except give it time and let it pass...the movie was niiice...i felt so inspired to dance at the end of it (and that's reallyyy saying something!!!) but then again, we're talkin richard gere and j.lo dancing here...so....*thud*.
But the fact still remains that i fell in love with the movie, not in a passions 'the phantom of the opera' obsessive way..but in a smile on the face...tears in eyes sorta ways..such a heartwarming story..and esp the song...'The book of Love' - apparently an old song...its such a beauuuutiful song...i cldnt help but cry when i heard it...Such things really give me some hope, heck the fact that there's some person sitting there writing these scripts, and getting paid for it...heck the fact that we're talkin richard gere and not any regular man in the street...heck that its all scripted....argghh....*THUD* i hate when i rain on my own parade...i hate going to bed as the hopeless romantic sighing and smiling, and waking up the cynical pragmatic realist who's grouchy and bitter...!!!
Oh well...and cant wait to watch 'finding neverland now' -highly recommended by many trusted realiable sources!! its my next goal!And of course my module readings and apart from that finish up soem books that i've started on.

Ok i should end here and go to bed...been a long day..long week...
and here we are again, back at friday...from one fri to the next...
And still its the little things that count...

The Book of Love - Peter Gabriel ('Shall we dance')

The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing
It's full of charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing
But I....I love it when you read to me
And you....You can read me anything

The book of love has music in it
In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental
Some of it is just really dumb
But I....I love it when you sing to me
And you....You can sing me anything

The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we're all too young to know
But I.......I love it when you give me things
And you.....You ought to give me wedding rings

And I....I love it when you give me things
And you...You ought to give me wedding rings

And I...I love it when you give me things
And you.....You ought to give me wedding rings
You ought to give me wedding rings

ps : if your wondering what 'ashes of roses' is all about...its a colour...lav's fav colour in fact.. roses this colour are called cuisse de nymph (hope i got the spelling rite!)... its a kinda dusky,dusty ashy pink..the kind that's shadowy...there and yet you dont know if its there...the kinda gorgeous colour that seems to be a mix of shades..and you can't make out the different shades..where the dust ends and the dusk begins...its all just blended tog.

Innuendos of Ennui

my word..
can u beleive its Feb...ALREADY...sheesh!!is the world spinning on turbo wheels or what!?Why does everything have to pass us by so fast!
That' s just me venting out my frustration stemming from the fact that i've successfully missed...let me see..3 out 4 lectures for at least 2 modules in the past...er...4 weeks...nice huh.I'm simply the best..i better clean up my act if i have the remotest intention and desire to graduate- let alone with a decent degree!
I dont know if today was an eventful day or an uneventful one..its sorta one of those sitting on the fence ones...it started out like any other day...me waking up late and realising i had better RUSH my bath and etc etc and get out of the house ASAP..and me doing the exact opposite..except..i think i would have made it on time, until i got the call from Vikz...he called to say bye since he was flyin off to holland that very night - he'd be on the flight now i guess..(bon voyage man and hope ur enjoying ur inflight movie!)I had completely forgotten that he was flying off to Holland..felt soooo bad..he'd told me the date way before but i'd been preoccupied with all kinds of rubbish and it completely slipped my mind..anyways managed to squeeze in a short meetup with him to say adieu and bot him chocolates and scribbled a note on this really silly looking notepad...i know...pathetic..but hey...its the thot....NVM....well in any case im glad i got to meet up with him before he left.
After that made my way to the forum for my proj meeting...was late...ok fast forward to lunch with shan..it was really nice sitting and chatting with her for nearly - gasp 3 hours!Talked abt mutual friends..recent events...death...life...religion....etc...it was..soulful stuff, pun unintended!Good chat...was at the expense of my 'soci of work' lecture but let's just say i didn't quite mind..(yes yes ribena..dont glare and stretch out your palm..i promise this is the last ok??)fr the record..i dont intend to make this a terrible habit tho i know it sure looks like im headed in the right direction....but u know, a leeeetle bit of guilt aside.. i enjoyed the way i spent the time..i get a kinda satisfaction..feel as tho i have stopped to smell the roses and that sorta thing..and shan's a lovely person...very simple,down to earth and uncomplicated...and very much 'in her element' as vasuneh would say. i luv that expression
:)
Ok ..so yea...Afterthat went to sci to meet s(f) and met s(m) 1st while waitnig fr her...we had an unconventional (i'm getting used to it tho) and yet interesting (thought provoking) chat on ppl..the essence of our personalities...why we're different with differnet ppl...why ppl are different alone and in groups...comes back the 'me' vs 'i' debate...goffman and social theory on the 'self'...i find it really fascinating...i beleive that there are differnet aspects to all of our essential personas and the different sides are brought out by different ppl...and its hard to tell when we're really really ourselves...some ppl come alive in groups...while others clam up...hm its really an individual thing i guess...so anyways...s(f) turned up soon enuff with ela and mr dentist..interesting group...i'm saynig the word interesting waaaay too many times...im beginning to tire of it myself....fr the want of a better word...oh well.
After that..i jst realised this is probably THE most boring blog i can ever write...its just soooo bleagghhhh....sigh i dont know why im still at it...but nvm...i caught up with bbs and bs in the library..we were all whispering thru out, a good almost 2 hrs, and trying to laugh without getting thrown out of the library...journals section somemore!!best... but it was reallyyyy nice catching up with em...hey yoga if ur reading this hope ur meeting with koala went well and that u did hav substantial data to dazzle him with! Lkin frward to more sessions like today..but hopefully i dont take up so much of ur work time..still feel bad abt tht....sowwwyyy :/
Fast forward how the booth selling my soci module course pack was closed and hence i cldnt buy it...and the readings aint online so cldnt zap either...so yea...i left sch...basically havnig done nothing more than catching up and chatting with friends..saw the usual grp in sci canteen..also so saw pooh as a bonus..finally saw her in sch....(oh ya,forgot,bumped into josephine too!!she looks soo nice...well whats new but yea..it was great seeing her...miss seeing her arnd so it was such a pleasant surprise)...ok fast forward to city hall mrt where i was gonna meet ribena to go home tog with her...needless to say i kept her waiting...got off at de wrong station...later got lost,finally found the rite line- the whole works lah, im just hopeless or 'simply champion' as she would say soo endearingly (showing no sign of wanting to throttle me despite waiting fr me after a long day's work)... *guilty look! - but that's why she's such a sweet-heartfied goondot...or goondotfied sweetheart...wattttevvvaaa!!!
Aside : (Sorry again goondot,and thanks for meeting up...grt seeing ya ms professional babe! Wear the beige coloured power suit next time ok!!)
anyways finally met her and went home..nice end to my 'social butterfly' day. So much for aspiring socialite, i better get down to readings..got tutorials coming up...arggh!
Ok announcement time...
congrats oh the mouldy one on ur 1st published work on the WWW. Grt job indeed..so proud of u dudette...and cheers to more to come and to seeing ur mouldy name on print!Ok now u can leave me a nice long comment on my blog...hehe...and oh yes...had a really good time last night...felt like the good old days when we took those nice long morning walks...and it was damn nice at night too...enjoyed the walk and the company...thanks dude..and thanks fr the patience while i decided (tried to at least!!!!) which earrings to get! Btw... I like the ones i got :)
ok..i'm sleepy and bored to tears by my own writing....
*yawns
till next time......hopefully when i got better things to write....
Cheers...have a happening feb....
Carpe diem folks - no really...

Quotes of the moment :
"when you reach the end of your rope..tie a knot and hang on!"
"When you're prepared to die, only then are you prepared to live"

Music of the night :
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.......