Carpe Diem

need to say goodbye although you're with me.
I stand beside your grave, yet you are here.
I miss you terribly and hope you miss me,
But when I turn to you, you're always near.
I talk to you as though you lived within me,
Not changed but simply moved in from outside.
I know each day you must a little leave me,
But here, as always, you must be my guide.
You were and are and will be, just as ever,
In many minds and hearts, not only mine.
No physical event can such love sever;
Death is a dimension, not a line.
And so goodbye does not mean you are gone:
So long as I still love you, you live on.

A dear one said today, "never give up on hope and love for that will never fail you, and ALWAYS take time to think...to wonder"
That will always stay with me ..thanks.
Carpe Diem
(incidentally, the very 1st movie mm took me for and i learnt to love the movie,book and those words because of mm.)

"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone."

"I said to Life, I would hear Death speak. And Life raised her voice a little higher and said, You hear him now." - Kahlil Gibran

DREAMING OR NOT
As in my dreams
We've brought alive That special feeling,
And no longer now Can I the difference tell,
If it is, a dream or not.
Yet one thing remains In all I know;
There's something here We have in common
In flesh or spirit I care no more,
For either way,It's ours for keeps.
I touch your substance And feel your affection,
As you do the same Of me in love.
Grateful and happy
For what we've found In each others heart,
We can now go forth
Sharing the gift (of love),
Through every moment left to live

- Oliver Mbamara

"Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come." - Rabindranath Tagore

Winds of change

I've learnt that not all questions have answers
but i hope all prayers do..
tempest, tests, turmoils and noise
but let the silence within still shine through
We have to hear it..and feel it too...
even if noone else does.
change is the only constant they say
wish things didn't change so much along the way
but that's how we have today Just as we'll have tomorrow
so much has changed -
some grown,some diminished,some left,some came back
some didn't and never will...
Let go and Let God..
Taketh the fruit and let the chaaf be still.
somethings haven't changed coz somethings never do
the tiny cold fingers, holding on tight
the wide eyed impish toothless grin
The age of innocence - what's the age limit
memories of gurgling laughter drowned out by the flood of tears
so much uncertainty so many fears
there's pain there's hurt
The little green froggie shirt
The huggy 'chimp' photograph
those who cry haven't forgotten how to laugh
It's all still there - somethings are for eternity
the child within
eclipsed.
Where's the the moon during the day
things have changed,Things change.. they always will
There's no such thing as darkness,
only the absence of light
Now there might be just sorrow and pain
but there's no rainbow if there's no rain
There IS sunshine,
And we have a choice
Choose the light no matter what the plight..
Ah
But there it is!
that familiar feeling..that faint glow
a fading memorow..a glimpse of a shadow
Life's a gamble day by day
somethings we lose, somethings we gain
All is not lost...spring brings life after the frost...
Somethings will always, always remain


- Random Ramblings

For i composed the music of the night

The soul stirred....
and awakened a dream
and on the wings of destiny
the dream came true

Fell in love with these words...small cosy little bookstore in eastbourne, where the shop lady was so pleasant..the huge dollhouse..so many memories..coming back in flashes..
dont know why i thought of these words, just came to mind..probably got deeper meanings to do with the subconscious etc..but i'm not even going there..i don't have an ounce of energy (is that the measurement for energy, i'm so used to saying ounce of fat, ive adopted it for energy..sounds better than drop) left in me..both mentally and physically spent..ive still got one and a half essays to write by tomorrow, a grand reassuring total of 4000 words or so..and god bless blingblingbowtie, he's such a darling coz he extended the deadline..otherwise id have a 3rd essay also due tmrw..and that would be nearly 6000 words altogether.
i shldnt have written all this..it's not helping...lately i've realised i'd be much better off if i said less, alot less, or bette still nothing at all..
suits me fine fr now..coz everytime i open my mouth its only coz ive got to yawn..and that in itself is tiring..maybe its psychological, i dont think so tho.
I'm burnt out..at my wit's end...and wick's end (in line with the metaphor of burning out,candles,wick etc..)...ok so much for wit, that's come to an end too.
Everything actually seems to have come to end , except this wretched week and the damn deadlines that is.
Journey's end...
more memories...frm long ago...sec 4 days..my warped adn slightly nutty lit teacher who i swear owned/wore 2 outfits her entire life, (well fr the 2 yrs that she taught me,anyway..we knew that what she was gonna wear tomorrw was always exactly what she had worn yesterday...i wonder if she's updated her wardrobe by now,7 yrs down the road..she must have, i hope, at least bought 2 more outfits since), the nice big classroom with curtains and how all of us 8(?) indian girls sat in the smae row by the window..how i bawled my eyes out the night before O levels, not coz i was stressed but coz the impact of osbourne's death hit me hard just then..adn more recently the play lavz and i caught in london..the pudgy santa clause looking osbourne who was all i envisaged him to be and more..who's 'death' still brought tears to my ears, the same dull ache,lump-in-throat feeling of hollowness..bumping into stanhope off stage, in plain clothes...and sleeping all the way back in the train ride..arriving in camb,cold,sleepy,waiting for cab in the rain...
i loved the cabs, the big ones with the sliding doors..rite frm the 1st one i got on, to the last one i got off..
sliding doors indeed...
shall succumb to sleep..can't fight anymore.