Driftwood

It felt so good..just lying there in the cool clear waters, not splashing about or moving, just lying still intoxicated by the slight bobbing sensation.The feeling came back when i tried to sleep last night and shut my eyes...and i started floating again..its exactly what happened when i spent a day at the escape theme park on all those rides...i couldnt; sleep that night coz it felt like i was still swinging high on the viking ..it was the most interesting sensation.Of course it was also one of the best times i had had in my life...had a fab time with the mould and pl..went on all the rides (almost all)...and that loooong walk to the foodie place...talking the whole way about so many things...memories flood back..made all the difference to my b'day.. i wouldn't have wanted to spend my 21st in any other way..i really wanted pastry to be there..was even sore about it fr a while..but things happens...and well, in retrospect, pastry being there wld have been a bonus but the day was perfect as it was.
So yea..yesterday was amazing.Another memorable day added to my list - and hey that's quite an honour! :p The ocean is really therapeutic..open waters has taken on a whole new meaning for me (and yes, i still wanna watch the shark movie!!)..it felt so liberating and empowering..the vastness of the sea...different shades of cool blue waters so clear i could see the jellyfish floating about and the fish.It was an out of the world experience..but the again, the place was out of the world i live in anyway.Mayang Sari(remote traditional resort in bintan..very modest but beautiful in simplicity..thanks Mm and auntyL for showing us such a wonderful place and such a good time)...unspoilt beauty...natural splendour...so Laid back, still,rustic and oh so simple that it hurts to come back..back to all this. Also it hurt to say bye to these wonderful ppl..who planned this all...one of the rare times tht i felt such love,mutual love radiated btwn us and them..and actually all of us...it was all about love,simplicity and life.things that matter..ppl that matter.
In retrospect its one of the happiest times ive had with mm..since childhood...and it was grt seeing him so hAPPY..from just swimming and observing jellyfish...mm..we love you.
I'm surprising myself here..that i could have been so utterly overwhlemed by the place and... all it did to me... especially when i felt after this summer that i had seen the world (a better part of it anyway)..but this just reinforces that the simplest things are often the most beautiful.
U know how somethings move at such an alarming speed that you don't realise what hit you..time is like that...i'm feeling it more now than ever before..yesterday after a long time, i felt the hours go by..i felt the entire 24 hours of my day..and i experienced each passing moment.And it's been a while.
Life has become so mechanical..these days it feels like the day ends almost as soon as it starts..its how i make sense of dreaded things like exams...i think to myself, once it starts, it's as good as over.SOmehow thinking that of life is not a comforting thought. But life isn't just about beginnings and ends is it...its about soo much more...it's all encompassing. but i wonder, if we would even have time on our deathbed to think of the in-between....i've left so much behind...things,people,memories,episodes....Would any of it count for anything?Hopefully.

Beckett had it all figured out...
at the end of the day, we're all waiting for our own godots...and all said and done..perhaps life really comes down to just this :

"They give birth astride of a grave,
the light gleams an instant,
then it's night once more"

This, to me, makes all the sense in the world.
I feel like i'm searching for something i never actually lost...oh wait...it's more like i'm not sure if it's lost...and sometimes, i don't even know waht i'm searching for anymore.Maybe i;m the one who;s lost...
But wouldn't you be..if you constantly feel like you left something someplace along the way... and you were looking for it everywhere else?

Quizotic

Yea yea..this is stolen from wannabecow...finally something interesting and unlike the same old thing..(i see yoga's done it too...beat me to it eh!) :p

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
And the sun came flooding out again,sharpening the edges of the long shadows,warming me,lifting my mood. (Mrs deWinter)
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?: My watch.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?: A really cool documentary on vicious snakes...fascinating!!
4. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is: 2.15?
5.Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?: 2.56 (i seriously should sleep asap!)
6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? the fan and cars passing by downstairs (love supreme playing in the background..sigh.. so many memories)
7: When did you last step outside? what were you doing?:Last night. To meet Lavz.
8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?: Hotmail and before that 2 friends' blogs..(this is getting to be an unhealthy obsession!) but that's how i got inspired to do this quiz thingi.
9:What are you wearing?: White nightgown with little lavender flowers
10: Did you dream last night? Don't think so..if i did i certainly can't remember!
11: When did you last laugh?Just a while back when my sister successfully got my bro out of the toilet (no humble feat!)..she scared him out of there by reminding him of some ghost story his teacher had told him.
12: what is on the walls of the room you are in? bulletin board cum photo collage and a poster "the final analysis" which i love.
13: Seen anything weird lately?: Yea...nothing surprises me anymore..i'd begin to worry when i stopped having weirdo encounters.
14: What do you think of this quiz?:Pretty fun to do..guess i'm in de mood for it too.
15: What is the last film you saw?:The Village!Luvved it!
16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?:This is hard...not gonna answer this...1stly i can't decide coz there are sooo many things.. and sides, it's probably gonna change within the next 10 mins.