the reflection

I feel like i've taken an old book off the shelf, dusted it off and started reading again only to find i knew exactly where i stopped, and how it felt at that point.
so much has transpired in that gap, yet i can't say it's been too long. if this is in any way a reflection of me and who i am then i wonder.... i wonder if there wld be a difference btwn the person in the mirror, and the person looking into it....i'm probably not articulating my thoughts well and in that process doing no justice to what i'm on about. but to be fair it's still a bit of a muddle in my head.
maybe i shldn;t dust off the old book and continue from where i left off.
maybe i should start a new book. Start on a new page, and tell a new story..
One of strength, positivity..challenges,fears,insecurities and achievements, both big and small. A story of renewal and revelations... and humility. of memories for the past, lessons for the future.. and hope and faith, more than ever before, for the glorious present.
everything is happening just as it should. and for no reason at all, this, i'm sure of.

on a more normal note..i'm glad blogspot autosaves drafts..too many of my precious posts have been lost in cyber space..somewhere in the dark hole between being written and being published. these days one can't take even small joys for granted.

To be or not to be

Feel like im standing at the edge of something much too deep..can't see the path ahead and yet i know i have to move. it's just so comfortable,where i am right now. there's safety in familiarity,in family,in friends...yet i must move.i just wish i had a better idea of what lies ahead..of which path to take..but i guess every path will lead somewhere. perhaps the point is the journey itself and the destination will work itself out.
one can hope.

non sequitur

So we're down to the last night of the long CNY hols...its been a good break and Its been nice to have a little time to do everything i've been wanting to fr a while now..catch up on reading, (and marking!) and enjoying leisurely time with family adn friends..and more importantly time to do nothing at all. to just be still and relax..i think its restful. of coz there are times one craves action and a stretch of non ending plans and engagements..being kept so busy you don;t really have time to think. i must admit it is quite nice to be on a roll, to feel like your doing so many things..stretched to the max but i think it makes you feel alive. and then there are days when you don't really want to do anything at all or be with anyone else but yourself.
This song's playing rite now..random selection :
'So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same
You're gone from here,
soon you will disappear,
fading into beautiful light
Cos everybody's changing and
I don't feel right'
Its funny how we sometimes, the very lines we hear or read several times, just suddenly come together and find a whole new level of meaning in your life. It makes sense like it never has and just like that something clicks. It's happened before...be it a quote or a few lines frm a book or lyrics of a song..and then you're stuck in a moment with the words ringing in your head like an incessant buzz and then you feel like you're entire life is a music video :S now that's strange really.

what i appreciated most these hols was the quiet..its been overwhelming. and it's almost over..tmrw it's back to reality. back to sniffy, coffy,whiny 8 yr olds..who see me glaring at them when theyre chattering away during assembly and pretend to ignore me (this is when i calmly walk up to them and drag them out of their blissful ignorance *of me*)..those who get dust in their eye and cry coz it hurts to open them and then cry somemore coz they don't know wht else to do..those who can't sit still in class or stand still during the national anthem...when every little thing is a major complaint, frm 'he pushed me!' to ' he said the s-word!' ie shut up or stupid.

sigh...yep..tmrw life goes back to normal.
cheers.

The Fall and If

The Fall

Leaves crisp and tainted brown
From the still autumn sky fall down
The smell of wet earth in the air
Trees standing oh so bare
like kings abandoned by their crowns

How long since the blossoms of spring
How long the wait
Till spring blossoms again

- Anon (2001)


"And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

- 'If' By Rudyard Kipling

Song in my head

Can't get seem to get this out of my head ....

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me To find my own
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?........

........I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

speak singrish campaign

Speak Singlish somemore?!

Sgn Mrt Station
Little ah-seng shop (chinese version of mama-shop)

Enter jazz and epiphobic.

Jazz to the bored shop-aunty : Aunty,Green-tea please
Aunty : (Looking through the racks of drinks & holds up a bottle of green tea)....Bottle can?
Jazz & Epiphobic : Can , can
Aunty : (puts the bottles back inside, looks around somemore and produces 2 cans of green tea)

Jazz points out the lost-in-communication caamedy-time to epi, in tamil. Epi notices that the cans have replaced the bottles, registers the linguistic gap and cracks up *in retrospect it might have been in reaction to jazz's tamil prowess*. Eitherway, she gets a giggle-fit and flees the shop.Jazz is stuck there, stifling her own guffaws in vain and paying for the drinks, while trying to ignore the shop-aunty's dirty looks the whole time.

Perfect way to drive home the point....who needs phua chu kang?

the photogenic award

Dont say i didnt warn you...remember these words?
"*looks at the classic shot of burps spread out on the gymball (details on the gymball will come later), resembling some odd and exotic cross breed btwn a lizard and a sloth..eyes bulging, looking like it cldnt decide if it was :
1) dying a slow painful death
2) reflecting on its life and its numerous traumatic experiences
3) Attempting to do yoga"?? Well...that was it

Anyway...this is not a real post. just wanted to share proof of that with the world. thanks ms yogajunkie for making this post possible, with that inimitable pose. you are truly, the one and only ms.photogenic.

Bombinate

What a strange word...audio-visually it suggests nothing along the lines of wht it means - to drone on.
on the contrary,it sounds quite instantaneous ..like a crash or some kind of blast.maybe oz of the bomb part.
hmm.
can't wait for grey's anatomy. it's an hour of distraction from the thoughts that weigh me down after dark on a monday night - i dont want to go back to sch tomorrow...
that voice sure can bombinate...i didnt know monday blues lasted till monday night :S
its October already (how did that happen..?) i remember reading this poem once..a long poem by ..ok i forget..anyway..it starts of with " i cannot but remember when the year grows old..october november...something something"..when the year grows old...nice. This month is going to be when it all culminates..need to rush the remaining syllabus,the unfinished exercises & the c.r.a.p, i mean creative, remarkable answers by prodigies which i'm gonna have to mark,the thought of which already makes me shudder. *shudders*
it wld also signal the almost-end of my almost-one-year teaching stint. Its been enriching and eventful and educational...erm..no puns there.
ok what else..i miss my friends. all of em.
The haze these few days has been terrible. Everything seems foggy and unclear.Smells of smoke too. Actuallly, October does kind of bring the idea of foggy gloomy weather to mind. Interesting. Let October go...November brings the happy chimes of wedding bells once again.
...ok..i dont wanna bombinate any further...heh..
ta!
oh - parting shot...

Reflection - by Shel Silverstein
Each time I see the Upside-Down Man
Standing in the water,
I look at him and start to laugh,
Although I shouldn't oughtter.
For maybe in another world
Another time Another town,
Maybe HE is right side up
And I am upside down.

flicker

Ok.so i've signed in and clicked on new post and managed to type.good enough for a feeble attempt? maybe not but its a start ...i might not be awake but i've stirred :pi' hope to be back soon to write more when it flows better, feels more natural,and when i don't spend more time pausing than typing...pardon the preamble. i'll be back.and hopefully this time it wont take 3 months.note to bubs : i guess this is hardly rewarding after all your prodding and poking (read:encouragement). waht can i say, u asked fr it! maybe i shld stick to reading the wonderful stuff you and mouldkins have to say - far more inspiring really.
:)

just like that

its odd how we cld feel so close to someone- sharing so much, feeling so closely connected and knowing so much abt the day-to-day trivialities of one's life, as well as the random deep thoughts,fears etc that we're inclined to share with those we hold close.
And then things can change, just like that leaving u feeling estranged and distant,and wondering what it is about these ties that bind, that can totally disentangle the very people it connected in the 1st place.
odd...